A Day Late, And A Dollar Short
A Dead Ringer
A Drop In The Bucket
A Fate Worse Than Death
A Fish Out Of Water
A Heart As Big As Texas
A Leopard Can't Change Its Spots
A Little Bird Told Me
A Little Nonsense Now And Then, Is Relished By The Wisest Men
A Penny For Your Thoughts
A Stich In Time Saves Nine
A Stitch in Time Saves Nine
A Watched Pot Never Boils
Adam's Off Ox
Add Insult to Injury
Against The Grain
Ain’t no count
Ain't Got A Leg To Stand On
Ain't Got A Pot To Piss In (or a Window to throw it out of)
Ain’t got both oars in the water
Ain’t got the brains God gave a billy goat
Ain't Got The Sense God Gave A Goose
Ain't Got The Sense God Gave You
Alive And Kicking
All bent out of shape
All Talk/All Talk and No Action
All Thumbs
All's Over But The Shouting
Always Look On The Bright Side
An Ounce Of Prevention Is Worth A Pound Of Cure
Another Day, Another Dollar
Apesh*t -- Crazy
As All Get Out -- Emphasis on Something -- "I'm As Broke As All Get Out
As Blind As A Bat
As Clear As A Bell
As Clear As The Nose On Your Face
As Confused As A Baby In A Topless Bar
As Dead As A Doornail
As Hard-Headed As A Mule
As High As A Kite
As Honest As The Day Is Long
As Light As A Feather
As Long As A Country Mile
As Mad As A March Hare
As Many As Carter Had Little Liver Pills
As Neat As A Pin
As Pig-Headed As A Mule
As Plump As A Partridge
As Poor As A Church Mouse
As Proud As A New Born Pup
As Proud As A Peacock
As Proud As A Settin' Hen
As Pure As The Driven Snow
As Red As A Beet
As Right As Rain
As Slow As A Snail
As Strong As An Ox
As The Crow Flies
As Thin As A Rail
As Tough As Nails
As Ugly As Sin
Astor/Aster Butt -- A Real Asshole
At Your Beck And Call
Back In The Good Old Days
Backhanded Compliment
Bad Off -- Not Doing Well
Bag of Switches
Bald-Faced Lie/Liar
Ball and Chain (Spouse)
Ball-Eyed Bloody Bones (anything that scares small children)
Barking Up The Wrong Tree
Bats In The Belfry
Bawled/Balled Me Out
Beat Around The Bush
Beat With An Ugly Stick (and hit with the whole tree)
Beat You Like A Red-Headed Stepchild
Beats the Sh*t out of me
Bee In Your Bonnet
Beggars Can't Be Choosers
Beside The Point
Better Half -- Spouse
Better Late Than Never
Better Safe Than Sorry
Better To Be Pissed Off Than To Be Pissed On
Better To Have Your Enemies Inside The Tent Pissing Out, Than Outside Pissing In -- Lesser Of Two Evils
Between A Rock And A Hard Place
Big As A Goose Egg
Bird In The Hand Is Worth Two In The Bush
Bird's Eye View
Birds Of A Feather Flock Together
Bitter Pill to Swallow
Bit/Snapped My Head Off – angry retort
Black As Pitch
Black As The Ace Of Spades
Black Sheep of the Family
Bless Your Heart !
Bless Your Little Pea-Pickin' Heart !
Blind As A Bat
Blind In One Eye And Can't See Out Of The Other
Blivit – Ten Pounds of Sh*t In A Five-Pound Sack
Blood Is Thicker Than Water
Blow Your Stack
Blown to Smithereens
Boo-Yah ! -- No One Knows What This Means; We Just Say It
Born and Bred
Born and Raised
Born and Reared
Born With A Silver Spoon in His/Her Mouth
Break A Leg
Break A Mirror For Seven Years' Bad Luck
Break The Ice
Brick Sh*t-House -- Well-Made or Pretty -- "That Car is Prettier'n a Brick Sh*t-House
Bright-Eyed and Bushy-Tailed
Bring Home The Bacon
Broke As All Get Out -- No Money
Broker’n Sh*t -- Penniless
Brown-noser
Built Like A Brick Sh*t-House
Bull-Headed
Bumfu*k, Egypt -- Used When Describing Some Remote or Unknown/Unchartered Place
Bump on a Log
Burn The Candle At Both Ends
Burn The Midnight Oil
Bury The Hatchet
Busier’n a three-legged cat covering sh*t
Busy as a Bee
Busy As A Bitch in Heat
Busy As A One-Armed Paper Hanger
Busy As A One-Legged Man In An Ass-Kicking Contest
Butter ball (fat baby or small animal)
Butter My Butt and Call Me A Biscuit
Buy It For A Song
By The Skin of Your Teeth
Came Up Smelling Like Roses
Can’t Make Ends Meet
Can’t squeeze blood out of a turnip
Can't Afford To Pay Attention
Can't Make A Silk Purse Out Of A Sow's Ear
Can't Make Head Nor Tails Of It
Can't Make Heads Nor Tails Of It
Can't See The Forest For The Trees
Can't Win For Losin'
Carry on
Cash On The Barrel Head
Cat Got Your Tongue?
Caught Between A Rock And A Hard Place
Caught With Your Pants Down
Chaps My Ass -- Makes Me Mad
Chatter Box (talks a lot)
Cheap As Dirt
Chew on that for a while
Chew The Cud
Chew The Fat
Chewed Me Out
Chickens Come Home To Roost
Children Should Be Seen, Not Heard
Chilled To The Bone
Chinchy – Tight with money; miserly
Chip Off The Old Block
Chip On His Shoulder
Chock Full
Choose The Lesser Of Two Evils
Chunk -- throw
City-Slicker
Clean As A Whistle
Clean Slate
Clear As A Bell
Clear As Mud
Climb On The Bandwagon
Climb The Wall
Close Only Counts In Horseshoes
Close Shave
Close, But No Cigar
Clumsy As A Bull In A China Closet
Clumsy As A New-Born Colt
Coal Oil -- Kerosene
Cock and Bull Story
Cock Of The Walk
Cold Feet
Coldr'n A Well Digger's Ass in Idaho
Coldr'n a Witch's Tit
Come Hell Or High Water
Come Off It
Come To Find Out That . . . -- I Discovered That. . .
Come Uncranked -- What Your Car Motor Does When It Stops Running
Come Up Missing
Come Up Smelling Like Roses
Come What May
Company Is Like Fish...They Both Stink After Three Days
Conniption Fit -- More Agitated Than When You're Having A Hissie Fit -- Just Plain Livid
Cooked His Goose/His Goose Is Cooked
Cookin' on the front burner (succeeding)
Cookin' with oil (doing well)
Cool As A Cucumber
Cootie/Cooter Brown
Couldn't Carry A Tune In A Bushel Basket
Couldn't Cut Hot Butter With A Knife
Couldn't Find His Ass With Both Hands
Couldn't Hit The Broad Side Of A Barn
Count Your Blessings
Country As Cornflakes
Cow lick – hair sticking up (see Alfalfa)
Coyote Ugly – when you wake up with a woman that’s so ugly, you’d rather gnaw off your arm than wake her up
Crazier'n All Get Out
Crazy As A Betsy Bug
Cream Rises To The Top
Cries Like A Baby
Crooked As A Barrel Of Snakes
Crooked As A Snake
Curiosity Killed The Cat
Curious as a cat
Cut And Dried
Cut From The Same Bolt Of Cloth
Cut Me Some Slack
Cut Off Your Nose To Spite Your Face
Cut the cheese
Cut the crap
Cut The Mustard
Cut the Sh*t !
Cut The Shenanagins
Cut Through The Red Tape
Cut To The Chase
Dance With The One What Brung You
Dark as a Dungeon
Day Late And A Dollar Short
Dead As A Doornail
Dead Ringer
Dead To Right
Dead To The World -- Exhausted
Deader'n A Doorknob
Diamond In The Rough
Diddly Squat (nothing at all)
Didn't Know Which Way To Turn
Different Strokes For Different Folks
Dig Your Own Grave
Dilly-Dally -- Mess Around; Waste Time; Loiter
Dirt Cheap
Dirt Poor
Do An About Face
Do as I say, not as I do
Does a snake have hips?
Do go on
Do Number One -- Pee
Do Number Two -- Poop
Dog Days Of Summer
Dog Eat Dog
Doin’ the green apple two-step (diarrhea)
Done Peed' in Your Own Soup
Don't Beat A Dead Horse
Don't Beat Around The Bush
Don't Bite Off More Than You Can Chew
Don't Bite The Hand That Feeds You
Don't Burn Your Bridges Before You Cross Them
Don't Change Horses In The Middle Of The Stream
Don't Come No Bigger/Better/Prettier Than That
Don't Count Your Chickens Before They Hatch
Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk
Don't Get Your Drawers In A Knot
Don't Get Your Panties In A Wad
Don't Have A Leg To Stand On
Don't Have The Brains God Gave A Billygoat/Goose
Don't Know Whether To Sh*t Or Go Blind
Don't Know Your Ass From A Hole In The Ground
Don't Know Your Head From A Hole In The Ground
Don't Let your mouth write checks your ass can't cash!
Don’t say sh*t
Don’t let the tail wag the dog
Don't Like It, You Can Just Lump It
Don't Look A Gift Horse In The Mouth
Don't Make Me Have To Come Up There!
Don't Make Me Hav'ta Open Up A Can O' Whup-Ass On Ya
Don't Mess In Your Nest
Don't Muddy The Waters
Don't Open That Can Of Worms
Don't Piss down my back, and tell me it's rainin.'
Don't Put All Your Eggs In One Basket
Don't Put Any Stock In It
Don't Put The Cart Before The Horse
Don't Take Any Wooden Nickels
Don't Throw Out The Baby With The Bathwater
Don't Try To Pull The Wool Over My Eyes
Don't Upset The Cart
Double Ugly
Double-Dog Dare
Down To Earth -- Practical
Dressed In His Sunday Get Up -- Dressed in Sunday Clothes
Dressed To Kill
Dressed Up In His/Her Sunday-Go-To-Meeting Clothes
Drinks Like A Fish
Drunk As A Skunk
Dryer'n A Bone
Dumb as a Dung Beetle
Dumber'n a Bag of Hammers
Dumber'n a Hoe Handle
Dumber'n A Stump
Easier Said Than Done
Easy As Falling Off A Log
Easy As Pie
Easy Come, Easy Go
Eat Crow
Eat Me Alive
Eat Sh*t and die
Eat Sh*t and Run Rabbits
Eat Your Heart Out
Eat/Ate My Lunch
Eaten Out Of House And Home
Eats Like A Bird
Eats Like A Horse
Eats Like A Pig
Either Sink Or Swim
Elevator Doesn't Go All The Way To The Top
End Of My Rope
Enough Is Enough
Enough money to burn a wet mule. (A wealthy person)
Every Dog Has His Day
Excuse My French
Experience Is The Best Teacher
Eyes Like A Hawk
Face The Music
Fact Is Stranger Than Fiction
Fair And Square
Fair To Middlin'
Fair Weather Friend
Fallin' Apart Like A Cheap Suit
Fancier'n A Two-Dollar Whore
Far Be It From Me
Fart Blossom -- Term Of Endearment for a Child
Fart Wad -- Abnoxious Older Person
Faster Than Greased Lightnin'
Faster'n A New York Minute
Fat As A Hog
Fat as a tub of lard
Feel like the groundfloor tenant in a two-story outhouse
Feeling Their Oats
Fell Like A Ton Of Bricks
Feuding Like The Hatfields And McCoys
Few And Far Between
Fifth Wheel
Finer'n' frog hair'n better'n chicken lips -- Beautiful or Wonderful
Fine-Toothed Comb -- Usually What You Examine Something Closely With
Fit As A Fiddle
Fit Him to a T
Fit To Be Tied
Flash In The Pan
Flat As A Pancake
Flesh and Blood
Fly By Night
Fly By The Seat Of Your Pants
Fly In The Ointment
Fly Off The Handle
Fly On The Wall
Foam At The Mouth
Follow The Golden Rule
Footloose and Fancy Free
For Crying Out Loud
For Love Nor Money
For The Birds
For The Life Of Me
For The Umpteenth Time
For What It's Worth
Forever And A Day
Forgive And Forget
Fork It Over
Fought Like A Tiger
Free As A Bird
Fresh As A Daisy
Freshly-Hatched -- Young
Frog In Your Throat
From Bad To Worse
From Here To Kalamazoo
From Here To Timbuktu
From Out Of The Mouth Of Babes
From Stem To Stern
From The Horse's Mouth
From The Word Go
Full As A Tick
Full Of Beans
Full Of Bull
Full of Piss and Vinegar
Funnier'n All Get Out
Funny Farm
Gag A Maggot
Get Hitched – get married
Get Off Your High Horse
Get The Sh*t Out Of Here
Get While The Gettin's Good
Get Your Ears Lowered -- Haircut
Get your feathers ruffled
Get Your Goat -- Embarass
Get Your Head Out Of The Clouds
Get Your Head Out Of Your Ass
Get Your Sh*t Together
Getting The Short End Of The Stick
Give Him An Inch And He'll Take A Mile
Give Out -- Tired, Exhausted -- "I'm Plumb Give Out"
Give Someone The Cold Shoulder
Give The Devil His Dues
Gives Me Goosebumps -- Scary
Glutton or "Pig Out" (Big Eaters)
Go Fly A Kite
Go For Broke
Go Hog Wild
Go Hump A Stump
Go Off Half-Cocked
Go To Bed With The Chickens
Go Up Like A Puff Of Smoke
Go With The Flow
Goes In One Ear And Out The Other
Going Against The Grain
Going To Hell In A Handbasket
Going To The Dogs
Gone Missing
Gone South
Gone To Pot
Gone To The Dogs
Gonna Be A Cold Day In Hell
Gonna Come A Gully-Washer
Good As Gold
Good Fences Make Good Neighbors
Good For What Ails You
Good Lord Willing And The Creek Don't Rise
Good Old Days
Good Riddance To Bad Rubbish
Gooder'n Grits
Goody Two Shoes
Got A Frog In Your Throat
Got A Kick Out Of It -- Enjoyed
Got a lotta damn gall
Got An Axe To Grind
Got Another Think Coming -- "If You Think I'm Gonna Jump Off That Cliff, You Got Another Think Coming"
Got Ants In Your Pants
Got Me Over A Barrel -- Got Me In A No-Win Situation
Got Me Stumped
Got My Ass Chewed Out -- Reprimanded or Scolded
Got My Ass In Gear
Got My/Your Goat (Embarrased You/Me *OR* Made You/Me Mad)
Got Pulled Before He Was Ripe
Got Skeletons In His Closet
Got something stuck in your craw
Got Up On The Wrong Side Of The Bed
Got Your Ass In A Knot/Sling/Bind
Got Your Head Up Your Ass
Got/Get It Down Pat
Grass Is Always Greener On The Other Side Of The Fence
Great Day in the Morning !
Great Minds Think Alike
Greek To Me
Green With Envy
Grin And Bear It
Grind To A Halt
Grinnin' Like A Cat/Mule Eatin' Briers
Gripes My Ass -- Makes Me Mad
Growing Like A Weed
Guilty As Sin
Gut Reaction/Feeling
Had Me Seeing Red -- I Was Angry
Half A Loaf Is Better Than None
Hand Over Fist
Happier'n a Fly in Sh*t
Happier'n a Pig in Slop
Happier'n a Porcupine in a Balloon Factory
Happy Go Lucky -- Without A Care In The World
Hard As A Rock
Hard Row To Hoe
Harder Than Nails
Harder To Hold Than A Greased Pig
Has A Hollow Leg
Has A Stomach Made Out Of Cast Iron
Has Deep Pockets
Has His Own Axe To Grind
Has The Bull By The Horns
Has The World By The Tail
Have To Bear The Brunt
He fell out of an ugly tree, and hit every branch on the way down
He Has His Tail Over His Back
He Thinks It's Gospel Just Because He Said So
He took out of here like his ass was on fire
He/She Has A Face Only A Mother Could Love
He/she has a face that would harelip the Govenor
He/She has a Mean Streak
He/She has a Wild Streak
Her glasses are so thick, when she looks at a map, she can see people waving at her
He/She is going on a Wild Streak
He/She scraped the bottom of the barrel -- fell in love with a trashy person
He/She took out of there like a streak of Lightning
He/She Was So Confused, He/She Didn't Know Whether To Sh*t or Go Blind
He/She will talk your ears off
He’s so confused, he don’t know whether to scratch his watch or wind his ass
Head Is As Thick As An Anvil
Head Is Hard As A Rock
Healthy As A Horse
Heart As Big As All Outdoors
Heavens To Betsy
Heavy As A Tub Of Lard
Heck Fire
He'll Argue With A Fence Post
Hell Bent
Hell On Wheels
Hem Haw Around -- Waste Time; All Talk and No Action
Hen Pecked
He's Afraid Of His Own Shadow
He's As Dependable As A Fox In A Hen House
He's As Honest As The Day Is Long
He's As Stubborn As A Lop-Eared Mule
He's Dealing From The Bottom Of The Deck
He's In Over His Head
He's Lost His Marbles
He's/She's so bow-legged, he/she couldn't hem up a hog in a ditch.
Hick – Usually refers to someone without an education that lives in the country
High And Dry
High And Mighty
High On The Hog
Higher'n A Georgia Pine
Higher'n A Kite -- Drunk
High-Falootin' -- Fancy
Hind-Sight Is 20/20
His Wheel's Still Turnin,' But The Hampster's Dead -- Dumb
His/Her Apples Don't Fall Far From The Tree
His/Her Mind Is A Steel Trap
Hissie Fit -- Slightly Less Agitated Than If You Were Having A Conniption Fit
Hit Below The Belt
Hit By An Ugly Stick
Hit The Sack
Hitch up your pants – pull up
Hold Your Horses -- Wait A Minute
Honey let me be your salted dog
Hook, Line & Sinker
Hoot And Holler
Hootenanny -- Shingig, Wingding, Celebration
Hop, Skip, and a Jump – A Short Distance
Horned in -- Butt In
Horse Of A Different Color
Hotter'n a 2 Dollar Pistol
Hotter'n a Popcorn Fart
Hotter'n Hell
I Ain't Never
I Can Feel It In My Bones
I Can't Make Heads Nor Tails Of It
I Could Take A Cotton To You
I Didn't Fall Off The Turnip Truck Yesterday
I Didn't Like The Color Of His Money
I do declare
I Done Put Up With All I'm Going To -- Aggravated
I Don't Give A Tinker's Damn
I Don't Know Him From Adam
I Double-Dog Dare You -- Strong Dare
I Feel Like Death Warmed Over
I Feel Like Giving Up The Ghost
I Have Half A Mind To . . .
I Have Other Fish To Fry
I Haven't Slept A Wink
I Laughed 'Till I Cried
I Need That Like I Need A Hole In My Head
I Triple-Dog Dare You -- Strongest Dare
I Wasn't Born Yesterday
I Won It Fair And Square
I Would Rather Take A Beating
I Wouldn't Give You Two Bits For Your Opinion
I Wouldn't Take A Plug Nickel For You
I Wouldn't Touch That With A Ten Foot Pole
I Wouldn't Trust Him As Far As I Could Throw Him
I Wouldn't Want To Be In His Shoes
I’ll be on you like a swarm of bees
I’ll be on you like flies on sh*t
I’ll be on you like white on rice
I’ll kick your butt up around your ears
If A Wolf Came To My House To Eat, He'd Have To Bring A Sack Lunch
If I Had My Druthers
If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix It
If I've Seen One, I've Seen 'Em All
If I've Told You Once, I've Told You A Thousand Times
If Something Tastes Good, you can say: "Better n' Snuff, but not half as dusty"
If that don’t light your fire, your wood’s wet
If That Don't Beat All
If That Don't Beat The Band
If That Just Don't Beat All
If that'd been a snake, it would have bit you
If the Good Lord's Willin' And The Creek Don't Rise
If The Good Lord's Willing And The Creek Don't Rise
If The Shoe Fits, Wear It
If Worse Comes To Worst
If you can’t hunt with the big dogs, stay on the porch
If You Can't Stand The Heat, Get Out Of The Kitchen
If You Had A Brain, You'd Be Dangerous
If You Had A Brain, You'd Take It Out And Play With It
If You Play With Fire, You're Gonna Get Burned
If you throw enough sh*t against a wall, some of it is bound to stick
If You Were On Fire, I Wouldn't Piss On You To Put You Out
If you're telling someone the truth, you can tell them: "If I told you a rooster dips snuff, you can look under his wing for the snuff."
Ignorance Is Bliss
I'll Be There With Bells On
I'll Give You Something To Cry About -- Usually Said To Children When You're Mad At Them
Ill Gotten Gains
I'm A Bit Under The Westher
I'm All Ears
I'm At The End Of My Rope -- Tired
I'm Getting Nowhere Fast
I'm Going To Jerk A Knot In Your Tail
I'm Going To Paint The Town Red
I'm Gonna Clean Your Plow
I'm Gonna Nail His Ass
I'm Gonna Take You Out Back Of The Wood Shed
I'm In A World Of Hurt
I'm In Hot Water
I'm Not Just Blowing Smoke At You
I'm Pulling Your Chain
In a bathroom, they bathe; in a restroom, they rest, in a toilet, they toil, in a Sh*thouse, they sh*t
In A Bind
In A Coon's Age
In A Rut
In high cotton
In hot water
In My Mind's Eye
In One Ear And Out The Other
In One Fell Swoop
In Over My Head
In The Bag
In The Doghouse
In the Family Way -- (pregnant
In The Pink -- Everything's OK
In The Red -- Negative Check Book Balance
Indian Giver
It couldn’t cut the mustard
It cut me to the quick
It’ll Do You Good, And Help You Too
It’s Not the End of the World
It’s not worth the paper it’s written on
It'll All Come Out In The Wash
It'll Be A Cold Day In Hell
It'll make you want to slap your mama and throw your daddy out the back door.
It's A Far Cry
It's A Piece Of Cake
It's A Real Humdinger
It's Always Darkest Before The Dawn
It's As Cold As Blue Blazes
It's Better Safe Than Sorry
It's Like Opening A Can Of Worms
It's Not Over 'Till The Fat Lady Sings
It's Rainin' Cats and Dogs
It's Rainin' On My Parade
I've Put Up With All The Sh*t I Can Handle
I've Stood All I Can Stand, 'Till I Can't Stand No More
Jack of all trades; master of none
Joe Blow
Jump out of the fryin’ pan into the fire
Jumpin' The Gun
Jumpy as a cat on a hot tin roof
Junky
Jury rig
Just A Drop In The Bucket
Just a Hop, Skip, and a Jump -- Short Distance
Just a stone’s throw
Just barkin’ in the wind
Just bear with me
Just between you, me, and the bedpost
Just bidin’ my time
Just hunky dory
Just in the nick of time
Just rewards
Kalamazoo -- Usually Refers To A Distance -- "That's As Far As From Here To Kalamazoo" -- [Kalamazoo is actually a city in Michigan, located at 42 degrees 16 minutes 45 seconds North and 085 Degrees 35 minutes and 18 seconds West]
Keep a stiff upper lip
Keep out of my hair
Keep the ball rolling
Keep up with the Jonses
Keep your eyes pealed/peeled
Keep your fingers crossed
Keep your head above water
Keep your nose clean
Keep your nose to the grindstone
Keep your shirt on
Keeps me on pins and needles
Kept Me In Stitches
Kick a man when he’s down
Kick The Bucket
Kick Your Ass -- Usually The Only Part Of Someone That Gets Kicked
Kill the goose that laid the golden egg
Kill two birds with one stone
Knee high to a billy goat
Knee high to a grasshopper
Knee jerk reaction
Knee-High To A Jackrabbit/Gnat
Knock Down, Drag Out – A Fight
Knock Down, Drag Out Gorgeous – Looks Good Enough To Fight Over
Knock a Knot on Your Head
Knock off work
Knock on wood
Knock the Sh*t Out Of You
Knock Your Block Off
Knot on a Log
Knothead
Know the ropes
Know which side your bread is buttered on
Know which way the wind blows
Knuckle down
Knucklehead -- Hard-Headed
Laid up
Laughed So Hard, I Almost Busted A Gut
Laughed So Hard, I Almost Fell Over
Laughed So Hard, I Like To Have Died
Learn the ropes
Left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing
Left holding the bag
Left in a lurch
Left like last year’s newspapers -- abandoned
Lesser of two evils
Let bygones be bygones
Let Nature Take Its Course
Let sleeping dogs lie
Let the cat out of the bag
Let your hair down
Lickety/Lickedy Split – quick
Life of Riley
Light at the end of the tunnel
Lights Are On, But Nobody's Home -- Stupid
Like a bat out of Hell
Like a chicken with its head cut off
Like a kid in a candy store
Like a man grasping for straws
Like a moth to a flame
Like a snowball in Hell
Like Eating Sh*t with a knitting needle.(Something that's tedious)
Like it or lump it
Like stink on a skunk
Like the pot calling the kettle black
Like Sh*t through a goose
Like Trying To Herd A Cat
Like two peas in a pod
Like Water Off A Duck's Back
Like white on rice
Liking to fart through silk and ride on rubber. (Spoiled people)
Lilly-livered son of a bitch
Limber as a dishrag
Lip Lock -- Kiss
Little Miss Priss
Loaded to the gills
Lolly-gaggin’ around
Lonesome as a polecat
Long as a country mile
Look before you leap
Look what the cat dragged in
Looks good enough to eat
Looks Like Death Warmed Over
Loose As A Goose
Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise
Lost as a goose
Lower than a snake's belly in a wagon rut
Lower’n a snake’s belly
Lyin’ like a dog
Lying through your teeth
Madder'n An Old Wet Hen
Made me mad enough to chew nails
Made my blood boil
Made my hair stand on end
Make a beeline for it
Make a long story short
Make no bones about it
Make the fur fly
Makes Me No Nevermind -- Makes No Difference To Me
Mark My Word -- Remember, I Told You So
Meaner’n a rattlesnake
Meaner'n a Junkyard Dog
Meet your maker
Mess with fire, and you’re like to get burned
Middle of the road
Mind your own beeswax
Mind your Ps and Qs
Misery loves company
Money burns a hole in your pocket
Money doesn’t grow on trees
Money is as scarce as hen's teeth
Monkey see, monkey do
Monkey’s uncle
Moonshine -- Homemade Whiskey, Made to Avoid Paying Alcohol Tax
More problems than Carter has pills
More stubborn than a mule
More than I bargained for
More Than One Way To Skin A Cat
More trouble than it’s worth
Mosey -- To Proceed Slowly
Moving at a snail’s pace
Mewling and Puking Around – Bitching and Moaning
[This phrase originally came from Shakespeare’s Soliloquy]
My Teeth Are Floating – needing to find a restroom
My word is my bond
Naked As A Jaybird
Neat as a pin
Neck of the woods
Needle in a haystack
Needless to say
Neither here nor there
Neither rhyme nor reason
Nervous as a Baptist Preacher in a Whore House (may not apply to ALL Baptist Preachers) (Some may not be nervous about it; some might not go to a whore house)
Nervous as a Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs
Nervous as a One-Legged Man in an Ass-Kicking Contest
Nervous as a Whore In Church
Never bite the hand that feeds you
Never give a sucker an even break
Nip it in the bud
No need to reinvent the wheel
No pain, no gain
No rest for the weary
No skin off my nose
No Skin Off My Nose/Teeth -- Makes Me No Difference
No use beating a dead horse
No use closing the barn door when the horse is already out
No Use Cryin' Over Spilled Milk
Nose To The Grindstone -- Working Hard
Not a hair our of place
Not A Penny To My Name -- Broke
Not A Pot To Piss In -- Without Anything Valuable; Plum Broke
Not fit to hold a candle
Not The Sharpest Knife In The Drawer
Not The Sharpest Tool In The Tool Shed
Not worth the salt that goes in your bread
Nothing is certain but death and taxes
Nutty as a fruitcake
Nutty as a squirrel
Of All The Gall !
Off his rocker
Oil and water don’t mix
Okey dokey
Old As Methusaleh -- Old Person -- (Methusaleh, from Genesis 5:27, lived to be 969 Years Old)
Old as the hilld
Old Biddie -- Usually Refers To An Old Woman
Old Coot
Old Lady's So Ugly I Take Her Everywhere With Me Just So I Don't Have To Kiss Her Goodbye
Older than Father Time
Older’n dirt
On a wing and a prayer
On the ball
On the rocks
On the spur of the moment
On Top Of The World -- Successful
Once bitten, twice shy
One bad apple don’t spoil the whole bunch
One Brick Shy Of A Load
One foot in the grave
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure
One sandwich short of a picnic
Only the good die young
Open mouth, insert foot
Opened Up A Hornet's Nest -- Caused Trouble
Out behind the woodshed
Out like a light
Out of sight, out of mind
Out of sorts
Out of the coals, into the fire
Out of the jaws of death
Out of the mouths of babes
Out on a limb
Over the hill
Over the top
Pack Rat
Pain in the neck
Paint the town red
Pale as a ghost
Passel -- Large Quantity Of
Pat on the back
Pea-Pickin' Good
People in Hell want ice water too
Petered-Out -- Tired
Piddle Around -- Waste Time
Pig-headed
Pig's Sty -- Usually How Someone Describes A Kid's Room
Pinch a loaf – to do # 2
Pink elephant
Pipe down
Pipe dream
Pipin’ hot
Piss Ant -- Small
Pisses Me Off -- Makes Me Mad
Pissin' Match -- Argument or Competition
Play it by ear
Play with fire/matches and you’re gonna get burned
Play-purty -- toy
Plum Broke -- No Money Left
Plum Tuckered Out -- Exhausted
Plum/Plumb -- Totally -- "I'm Plumb Give Out"
Podunk -- Usually Where Someone Says They Are When They're Lost -- [Actually There Are Only Four (4) Places in the United States That Have This Name: Podunk, Connecticut; Podunk, Michigan; Podunk, New York; and Podunk, Vermont]
Polecat -- Skunk
Poop -- To Defecate/Sh*t
Poor as a Church Mouse
Poor as a snake
Poor as dirt
Practical As A Screen Door On A Submarine
Practice makes perfect
Practice what you preach
Pretty as a picture
Pride goes before the fall
Proof is in the pudding
Protective as a mother hen
Proud as a peacock
Pull the wool over my eyes
Pure as mother’s milk
Put stock in it
Put that in your pipe and smoke it
Put your money where your mouth is
Queer as a three-dollar bill
Quick as a wink
Quick as lightning
Quick on the draw
Quicker’n a New York minute
Quicker’n greased lightning
Quiet as a mouse
Quietr'n a Mouse Pissin on a Cotton Ball
Quit While You're Ahead
Quit your bellyaching
Rabbit Tobacco -- What To Smoke When You're Living In The Country
Rack my brain
Ragmuffin (Ragamuffin) – Dressed Poorly
Rainin' To Beat The Band
Rainin’ cats and dogs
Raisin’ cain
Ran Like A Scalded Dog
Ran like a spotted ape
Rat Killin’
Rat race
Real McCoy
Reamed Me Out / Bawled Me Out / Chewed Me Out
Red As A Beet
Red tape
Rest on your laurels
Revenoor -- Anyone That Tries To Tax Moonshine
Right as rain
Robbin' Peter to pay Paul (borrowing from one person to pay another)
Rode hard and put away wet
Roll with the punches
Root hog or die
Rotten To The Core
Rough As A Cob
Rubbed Me The Wrong Way -- Made Me Mad
Rule The Roost -- The One That's In Charge
Run like the wind
Running Around Like A Chicken With Its Head Cut Off
Sack of Sh*t
Sadder, but wiser
Saunter -- See MOSEY
Saved by the bell
Sawed-Off -- Short -- Usually Expressed as A Form of Degradation and combined with Sack Of Sh*t -- "You Sawed-Off Sack Of Sh*t!"
Scarce as hen’s teeth
Scared out of my drawers/pants
Scared out of my wits
Scared Sh*tless
Scared the Sh*t out of me
Scaredy-cat
Screaming my lungs out
Screw Loose – crazy or confused – “He/She has a screw loose”
Screwed the pooch – really messed up
Sh*t A Brick
Sh*t For Brains -- Stupid
Sh*t Head
Sh*t Heap
Sh*t hit the fan
Sh*t Hook
Sh*t list
Sh*t load
Sh*t on a Stick -- People who believe themselves to be important
Sh*t Out Of Luck
Sh*t-Ass
Sh*tter -- Toilet
Sh*tty
Shag Ass -- Hurry Up
Shaggy -- Someone That Needs A Haircut
Shake A Leg
Sharp As A Tack
She can’t help bein’ ugly, but she could’a stayed home
She don’t know any better
She is a diddy-way-doosie
She was so ugly, they had to tie a pork chop around her neck just to get the dog to play with her
She’s gonna have a hissie fit
Shindig -- Celebration
Shinola
Sh*ttin’ and Getting’ – in a hurry
Sh*t Rolls Downhill
Shoot the Sh*t
Shootin’ the breeze
Shower Down On It -- Accelerate
Shut-Out -- Locked Out
Sick and Tired Of... -- "I'm Sick And Tired Of Payin' All These Bills"
Sick as a dog
Sigh your John Henry
Sight for sore eyes
Sillier’n sh*t
Silver-tongued devil
Sit down and take a load off
Sit down and talk a spell
Sit for a spell
Sit tight
Sittin’ duck
Six of one, and a half-dozen of the other
Skaggy -- Loose Woman
Skinny as a rail
Slap Happy -- Extremely Happy
Slap Out -- Without; Nothing Left
Slap You Bald-Headed
Slap You Into The Middle Of Next Week
Slap You Naked
Slap You Silly
Slap You So Hard Your Grandkids Will Have A Headache
Sleep like a log
Sleepin’ with the enemy
Slew -- A Large Quantity Of -- "I Cooked A Slew Of Greens For Dinner"
Slick as a cow pie on a flat rock
Slick/Clean as a whistle
Slicker’n a bucket full of snot
Slicker'n Owl Sh*t
Slicker'n Snot
Slippery as an eel
Slough (pronounced Slew) -- Swampy Area
Slow as a broke clock
Slow As A Snail
Slow as Christmas
Slower'n Molasses In January
Slyer’n a fox in a hen house
Smack Dab In The Middle -- Exactly In The Center
Smart as a tack
Smart as a whip
Smooth As A Baby's Behind/Ass
Smooth as silk
Snug as a bug in a rug
So broke that if it took a quarter to leave town, you couldn’t cross the street
So broke, I can’t pay attention
So cold, lawyers have their hands in their own pockets
So dumb, he don't know Sh*t from Shinola
So Help Me...
So Hungry, I Could Eat A Horse
So Stingy, He Could Squeeze The Copper Out Of A Penny
So Stupid, He Couldn't Pour Piss Out Of A Boot With The Instructions Printed On The Heel
So sweet, honey was drippin’ off her tongue
So ugly, it looks like her face caught on fire, and somebody tried to put it out with an ice pick
So ugly, the Doctor slapped your mama
So Ugly, Your Mama Had To Tie A Pork Chop Around Your Neck Just To Get The Dog To Play With You
Sober as a judge
Son Of A Gun
Sooner get blood out of a turnip
Sorry As A $ 2.00 Watch
Sowing his/her wild oats
Spare the rod; spoil the child
Speak of the devil
Squeal like a stuck pig
Squirt blossom
Step on a crack and break your mother’s back
Stick like glue
Stick to your guns
Sticks out like a sore thumb
Stiff as a board
Still Wet Behind The Ears -- Inexperienced; Young
Stirred Up A Stink -- Started Trouble
Stomp your ass
Stompin’ ground
Stone cold
Stoned Out Of His Gourd -- Drunk or Drugged
Stop stirrin’ up a bunch of crap/sh*t
Stop the Crap !
Stop the Sh*t !
Straight as an arrow
Straight Shooter
Strike while the iron is hot
Stringbean -- Someone That Is Skinny
Strong As An Ox
Strung Out
Struttin' Like A Peacock -- Walking Proud
Stubborn As A Mule
Stuck in a rut
Stuck up
Stunk so bad, he could knock a buzzard off a sh*twagon
Suckin' hind tit (falling behind)
Sure as night follows day
Sweatin' like a whore in church
Sweet tooth
Sweeter’n honey
Tail between your legs
Take a back seat
Take a cotton to
Take a hike
Take a likin’ to
Take a load off
Take a rain check
Take a shinin’ to
Take him down a notch
Take it with a grain of salt
Take One Step Forward And Two Steps Back
Take the bitter with the sweet
Take the bull by the horns
Takes One To Know One
Talk in circles
Ten Feet Tall And Bulletproof -- Feeling On Top Of The World
Tend to your own knittin' (mind your own business)
That just slipped off your tongue
That makes me want to puke
That old dog don’t hunt
That takes the cake
That’ll take the wind out of your sails
That’s a hair-brained idea
That’s a hard/bitter pill to swallow
That’s a horse of a different color
That’s about as stupid as a screen door on a submarine
That’s it in a nutshell
That’s just water under the bridge
That’s music to my ears
That’s my cross to bear
That’s no skin off my back/nose
That’s the best thing since sliced bread
That’s the last straw
That’s the long and short of it
That’s the way the cookie crumbles
That's a Hoot
The bark is worse than the bite
The best things come in small packages
The best things in life are free
The bigger, the better
The blind leading the blind
The cure is worse than the disease
The early bird catches the worm
The left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing
The light was on, but nobody was home
The live-long day
The only difference between a vulture and a woman, is that the vulture circles at least once before it chews your ass out
The river got so high, you could see under it
The Shoe's On The Other Foot Now
The straw that broke the camel’s back
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach
The wolf is at the front door
Their family tree don’t branch
There may be snow on the roof, but there’s still fire in the furnace
There’s more than one way to skin a cat
They just go hog wild
Thicker’n fleas on a dog’s back
Thin As A Rail
This place looks like a pig’s sty
Three sheets to the wind
Threw Me For A Loop
Throw another log on the fire
Tie The Knot
Tight as a tick
Tight as a tick on a dog's back (Stingy)
Tight as bark on a tree
Tighter'n Dick's hatband (money situation under the Clinton administration)
Till the chickens come home to roost
'Till The Cows Come Home
Timbuktu -- Usually A Comparison -- "I Don't Know Him From Timbuktu" -- [Timbuktu is actually a City in Mali, West Africa, located at Approximately 16 degrees 45 minutes North and 3 Degrees, 4 Minutes West]
Time heals all wounds
Time is passin’ me by
Time is tickin’
Time to bite the bullet
Time to hit the sack
Time to meet your maker
Time To Pay The Piper/Fiddler
Time to put him out to pasture
Time to rest my dogs
Time to turn over a new leaf
Time’s a wastin’
Tired As All Get Out -- Exhausted
Tit for tat
Tobacco Road -- Poverty
Tomcat -- Male Cat
Too big for your britches
Toot your own horn
Touched in the head
Tough As Nails
Tough as old leather
Tough as whit leather
Tough row to hoe
Tough Sh*t
Tougher’n a one-eared alley cat
True blue
Truth is stranger than fiction
Tuckered out
Turn a blind eye
Turn a deaf ear
Turned Up Missing
Turns Out That. . .
Two bits short of a dollar
Two heads are better than one
Two left feet
Two of a kind
Two shakes of a lamb’s tail
Two’s company; three’s a crowd
Two-Bag Ugly -- When You Have To Wear A Bag On Your Head, In Case The Bag On Her Head Falls Off
Uglier'n Lassie's Ass -- Self-Explanatory
U-G-L-Y (pronounced "you glee") -- Extremely Ugly
Ugly as a mud fence
Ugly As Sin/Uglier’n Sin – Usually refers to Inbred Kids
Ugly as the South End of a Northbound Mule
Ugly Enough To Stop A Clock
Under The Weather
Up a blind alley
Up the creek without a paddle
Upper Crust
Use it or lose it
Useless as a bucket with no bottom
Useless as a dry well/cow
Useless as Tits on a Boar Hog
Useless as Tits on a Nun
Variety Is The Spice Of Life
Wait broke the bridge [Ed. Note: not weight]
Wait for the other shoe to drop
Wait with baited breath
Wake up and smell the coffee
Walk a mile in his shoes
Walk on eggs/eggshells
Walk the walk and talk the talk
Walks Around Like He's Got A Cob Up His Ass
Waste not; want not
Watched pot never boils
Water over the dam
We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it
We’re all in the same boat together
We’ve seen better days
Weak in the knees
Wear your heart on your sleeve
Welcome as a wet blanket
Welcome as the plague
Welcomed with opened arms
Well I Never
Well I Never, in all my born days
Well now, if that don’t beat all
Well slap me naked, and hide my clothes
Well, I Swear
Well, I’ll swanee
Were you born in a barn?
Wet behind the ears
Wet Your Whistle
Wetr'n a Cow Pissin on a Flat Rock
Wetter’n a drowned rat
What Fer? Cat Fur To Make Kitten Britches !
What goes around, comes around
What in blue blazes?
What is all the rigmarole about?
What the cat dragged in
What you don’t know won’t hurt you
What’s done is done
What's Good For The Goose Is Good For The Gander
When all’s said and done
When Hell freezes over
When it rains, it pours
When pigs fly
When the cat’s away, the mice will play
When the cows come home
When the creek/well runs dry
When you got it, flaunt it
When you lie down with dogs, you’re gonna get fleas
Where there’s a will, there’s a way
Where there’s smoke, there’s fire
Whippersnapper -- Young Person
Whippin’ boy
Whippin’ post
White as a sheet
Why Buy The Cow, When You Can Get The Milk For Free
Wider than the Mississippi
Wider’n a barn
Wild as a Billy Goat (active, noisy kids)
Wild goose chase
Wild horses couldn’t drag me away
Willy Nilly
Wingding -- Celebration
Wise Old Owl
Wiser'n An Old Owl
Wish in one hand and spit in the other, and see which one fills up first
Wishy-Washy – Unreliable, indecisive
With age comes reason
With bells on
With flying colors
Without A Care In The World -- Not Worried About Anything; Happy Go Lucky
Wolf in sheep’s clothing
Won the battle, but lost the war
Won't Hold A Candle To -- Won't Come Close
Worry Wart -- Usually refers to someone that is constantly bothering you, or worrying about something
Worse than stink on a skunk
Wrinkled as a prune
X marks the spot
X that out
Xmas
"'Ya'll Come"
Yankee dime
You ain’t just whistlin’ Dixie
You ain’t no spring chicken anymore
You are what you eat
You are your brother’s keeper
You can buy it for a song
You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink
You can stand up for yourself, or waller (wallow) in your own self-pity
You can bank on it
You can take that to the bank
You can tell a tree by the fruit it bears
You can’t judge a book by its cover
You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear
You can’t squeeze blood out of a turnip
You can’t teach an old dog new tricks
You can’t trust him as far as you can throw him
You don’t know diddly squat
You don’t know Jack Sh*t
You don’t stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing
You drive a hard bargain
You Gotta Be Sh*ttin' Me
You have to sow before you can reap
You just hit the nail on the head
You just spun your own web
You Know What Really Burns My Ass? -- A Flame About 3 Feet High
You Made Your Own Bed, Now Lie In It
You never had it so good
You Scratch My Back, I'll Scratch Yours
You silly goose
You won half the battle
You’ll reap what you sow
You’re a dead duck
You’re a dirty, double-dealin,’ no good, low-down skunk
You’re a thorn in my side
You’re actin’ like a child
You’re addin’ insult to injury
You’re barking up the wrong tree
You’re gonna be pushin’ up daisies
You’re gonna bite off more than you can chew
You’re gonna get my dander up
You’re gonna hafta’ eat crow
You’re in over your head
You’re not tootin’
You’re nothing but a snake in the grass
You’re only as good as your word
You’re still wet behind the ears
You’re treadin’ in deep water
Your eyes are bigger’n your stomach
Your name is mud
Your number is up
You're Getting Too Big For Your Britches
You're Gonna Put Me In The Poorhouse
Zip it
Zip your zipper
It seems that people are always telling everyone else "You don't know Jack Sh*t." Well, I am going to explain it all to you. Afterwards, if someone tells you this you can say "Actually, I DO know Jack Sh*t."
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awh and Oh Schitt. Awh, the fertilizer magnate, married Oh, the owner of the Kneedeep Inn, which expanded to become Kneedeep Inn Schitt, Inc. Later, Jack married Noe, and they produced seven children. Holy, their first, passed on shortly after birth.
Next came the twin sons, Deep and Dip, and two daughters, Fulla, and Giva and another son, Bull. Deep married Dumb, a high school dropout. Dip married Lotta, and they had a nervous son, Chicken. Fulla and Giva married the Happens brothers.
The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull just recently married a spicy Italian number, Pisa, and they are awaiting the arrival of a little baby Schitt. They've already picked the name of Pila.
Chicken eventually inherited the fertilizer industry from his grandfather. The business grew rapidly due to his unique management skills and catchy slogan: “Crops Not Growing? You Need Chicken Shitt.” For a while, people said that he had a Schitt-load of money, but he lost the company when he eventually became afraid to collect the money owed from people on his Schitt list.
After being married for 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, but kept her previous name. She was later known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Recently, one of Jack Schitt's old girlfriends Helpya Self, gave up her two daughters, Sh*ttanya Self and Pissayna Self, for adoption. Jack cousins, Hunka Schitt and Loada Schitt are now the twins' foster parents.
The twins are welcomed by one brother, Crocka Schitt, and two sisters, Take-a Schitt and Heap-a Schitt. Jack's sister, Wortha, moved out to make room for the large family.
Wortha soon fell in love with a Mr. Brick, and they were married. She moved into his huge house, but refused to change her last name. Now their home close to Schitt Creek is known throughout the community as the Brick-Schitt House. With its marble floors and ornate exterior, the townsfolk would often say that anything that looked good was "Built Like A Brick-Schitt House."
Heap-a Schitt married Mr. Getza Head, an Italian chef. Soon, there were lots of Schitt-Head children. Heap-a became a chemist and eventually developed the world-renowned pesticide called "Deadly Schitt." Soon, billboards announced the famous slogan about her product -- "Got Bugs? Let them eat Schitt and die."
Take-a Schitt moved to Japan to become a horticulturalist. Using a variant of her name, she developed a new species of mushrooms, called the "Schittake." She married Mr. Hooks, a Roto-Rooter executive, and they had several children. The Schitt-Hooks prospered for many years, but eventually went down the drain in a stock market crash. Hometown newspapers reported the demise of the mushroom industry, but the article misquoted the company’s bankruptcy records and blamed “Schitt For Brains” as the cause of the failure, rather than the economy, and the Schitts sued. The legendary case was eventually settled, and a new phrase was coined: “I’ll sue the Schitt out of you.”
Crocka Schitt became a stand-up comedian. Because of his stage antics, he earned the nickname "Ape." Last year, Crocka Schitt fell while climbing a tree in his hometown of Shinola, MO, and landed in the middle of a PETA demonstration -- unhurt. I guess you could say that PETA had Schitt on themselves. Newspapers reported that Crocka was “one tough Schitt.” The Six-O-Clock News, filming the event, promptly named the segment "Ape Schitt Falls From Tree -- PETA Breaks His Fall." Well, as you might have guessed, that article attracted every girl from three counties away. Jealous husbands and boyfriends threatened to “shoot the Schitt.” Fans flocked to see the event. One admirer actually tore Crocka’s overalls and knocked him down. The ensuing scuffle ended when Schitt hit the fan.
However, Ima Hooker, the female news anchor, was the one that caught the eye of Crocka Schitt. She fell madly in love with Crocka, and they soon married. Ima Hooker was now Ima Schitt. Now a celebrity because of the news report, Crock-a Schitt moved with Ima back to her hometown, where he could have peace and quiet and raise a little Schitt every now and then. His plan worked. No one knew him there. When asked who he was, people would say "I don't know Schitt from Shinola." They eventually had four kids: Krappy Schitt, Ugglee Schitt, "Lucky" Schitt and Moe Schitt (who actually was named "Noe" after Jack's first wife, but was called "Moe" because of her haircut). Krappy was a feeble kid, and pretty much scared of everything. When ill, kids would often say that they were "Feeling Krappy" or "Sick as Schitt." Likewise, when they were scared, they would say they “had the Schitt scared out of them,” or that they were “scared Schittless.”
Before long, the town had Schitt all over the place. As a matter of fact, they had more Schitt than they could handle. Lucky, the moneymaker of the family, created a deodorant empire, and for years used the slogan "Smell Like Schitt." His family later moved to Australia, where the slogan was changed to "Smell Like Schitt Down Under." When he lost his business in a card game, he was said to be "Schitt Out Of Luck."
Moe Schitt became a troublemaker. She was run out of town when the citizens put up signs saying "Get The Schitt Out Of Here." The Mayor finally declared that there was no way they could put up with Noe Moe Schitt.
Uglee Schitt married Buford Butt, and later was known as Uglee Butt. Using her maiden name, she opened a miniature donkey-breeding farm. Those little Schitt-Asses were famous throughout the county.
Uglee’s oldest son, Sacka Schitt, was an entrepreneur, of sorts. Always on the lookout for an investment, Sacka earned the nickname “Owl,” when he became famous as a stock broker on Wall Street. Ever the envy of his peers, he was always voted “Broker of the Year.” Everyone said that to beat him, you’d have to be “slicker than Owl Schitt.”
Owl Schitt eventually left the hectic life of Wall Street and moved back home to start a family. His first daughter, “Runny” Schitt, earned that nickname due to the fact that she couldn’t sit still, even when eating her Christmas dinner. She was often the winner of all the county eating contests. The judges always said that nothing was “faster than Schitt through a goose.”
The story doesn't end here, though. The Schitt children moved from place to place, and you'll probably run into some Schitt everywhere you look. Every summer, Jack Schitt contacts all of the family members for an annual get-together. He wants everyone show up, so he places ads in the local papers about the reunion, announcing "Get Your Schitt Together."
As you can tell, we are now in a world of Schitt. Now that all the Sh*t is cleared up, if anyone asks, YOU DO KNOW JACK SH*T.
[Editor’s Note: By now, I hope you realize that I’ve just fed you a buncha Schitt. I Schitt You Not ! ]
Jack Schitt -- The Shorter Animated Version