A Day Late, And A Dollar Short
A Dead Ringer
A Drop In The Bucket
A Fate Worse Than Death
A Fish Out Of Water
A Heart As Big As Texas
A Leopard Can't Change Its Spots
A Little Bird Told Me
A Little Nonsense Now And Then, Is Relished By The Wisest Men
A Penny For Your Thoughts
A Stich In Time Saves Nine
A Stitch in Time Saves Nine
A Watched Pot Never Boils
Adam's Off Ox
Add Insult to Injury
Against The Grain
Ain’t no count
Ain't Got A Leg To Stand On
Ain't Got A Pot To Piss In (or a Window to throw it out of)
Ain’t got both oars in the water
Ain’t got the brains God gave a billy goat
Ain't Got The Sense God Gave A Goose
Ain't Got The Sense God Gave You
Alive And Kicking
All bent out of shape
All Talk/All Talk and No Action
All Thumbs
All's Over But The Shouting
Always Look On The Bright Side
An Ounce Of Prevention Is Worth A Pound Of Cure
Another Day, Another Dollar
Apesh*t -- Crazy
As All Get Out -- Emphasis on Something -- "I'm As Broke As All Get Out
As Blind As A Bat
As Clear As A Bell
As Clear As The Nose On Your Face
As Confused As A Baby In A Topless Bar
As Dead As A Doornail
As Hard-Headed As A Mule
As High As A Kite
As Honest As The Day Is Long
As Light As A Feather
As Long As A Country Mile
As Mad As A March Hare
As Many As Carter Had Little Liver Pills
As Neat As A Pin
As Pig-Headed As A Mule
As Plump As A Partridge
As Poor As A Church Mouse
As Proud As A New Born Pup
As Proud As A Peacock
As Proud As A Settin' Hen
As Pure As The Driven Snow
As Red As A Beet
As Right As Rain
As Slow As A Snail
As Strong As An Ox
As The Crow Flies
As Thin As A Rail
As Tough As Nails
As Ugly As Sin
Astor/Aster Butt -- A Real Asshole
At Your Beck And Call
Back In The Good Old Days
Backhanded Compliment
Bad Off -- Not Doing Well
Bag of Switches
Bald-Faced Lie/Liar
Ball and Chain (Spouse)
Ball-Eyed Bloody Bones (anything that scares small children)
Barking Up The Wrong Tree
Bats In The Belfry
Bawled/Balled Me Out
Beat Around The Bush
Beat With An Ugly Stick (and hit with the whole tree)
Beat You Like A Red-Headed Stepchild
Beats the Sh*t out of me
Bee In Your Bonnet
Beggars Can't Be Choosers
Beside The Point
Better Half -- Spouse
Better Late Than Never
Better Safe Than Sorry
Better To Be Pissed Off Than To Be Pissed On
Better To Have Your Enemies Inside The Tent Pissing Out, Than Outside Pissing In -- Lesser Of Two Evils
Between A Rock And A Hard Place
Big As A Goose Egg
Bird In The Hand Is Worth Two In The Bush
Bird's Eye View
Birds Of A Feather Flock Together
Bitter Pill to Swallow
Bit/Snapped My Head Off – angry retort
Black As Pitch
Black As The Ace Of Spades
Black Sheep of the Family
Bless Your Heart !
Bless Your Little Pea-Pickin' Heart !
Blind As A Bat
Blind In One Eye And Can't See Out Of The Other
Blivit – Ten Pounds of Sh*t In A Five-Pound Sack
Blood Is Thicker Than Water
Blow Your Stack
Blown to Smithereens
Boo-Yah ! -- No One Knows What This Means; We Just Say It
Born and Bred
Born and Raised
Born and Reared
Born With A Silver Spoon in His/Her Mouth
Break A Leg
Break A Mirror For Seven Years' Bad Luck
Break The Ice
Brick Sh*t-House -- Well-Made or Pretty -- "That Car is Prettier'n a Brick Sh*t-House
Bright-Eyed and Bushy-Tailed
Bring Home The Bacon
Broke As All Get Out -- No Money
Broker’n Sh*t -- Penniless
Brown-noser
Built Like A Brick Sh*t-House
Bull-Headed
Bumfu*k, Egypt -- Used When Describing Some Remote or Unknown/Unchartered Place
Bump on a Log
Burn The Candle At Both Ends
Burn The Midnight Oil
Bury The Hatchet
Busier’n a three-legged cat covering sh*t
Busy as a Bee
Busy As A Bitch in Heat
Busy As A One-Armed Paper Hanger
Busy As A One-Legged Man In An Ass-Kicking Contest
Butter ball (fat baby or small animal)
Butter My Butt and Call Me A Biscuit
Buy It For A Song
By The Skin of Your Teeth
Came Up Smelling Like Roses
Can’t Make Ends Meet
Can’t squeeze blood out of a turnip
Can't Afford To Pay Attention
Can't Make A Silk Purse Out Of A Sow's Ear
Can't Make Head Nor Tails Of It
Can't Make Heads Nor Tails Of It
Can't See The Forest For The Trees
Can't Win For Losin'
Carry on
Cash On The Barrel Head
Cat Got Your Tongue?
Caught Between A Rock And A Hard Place
Caught With Your Pants Down
Chaps My Ass -- Makes Me Mad
Chatter Box (talks a lot)
Cheap As Dirt
Chew on that for a while
Chew The Cud
Chew The Fat
Chewed Me Out
Chickens Come Home To Roost
Children Should Be Seen, Not Heard
Chilled To The Bone
Chinchy – Tight with money; miserly
Chip Off The Old Block
Chip On His Shoulder
Chock Full
Choose The Lesser Of Two Evils
Chunk -- throw
City-Slicker
Clean As A Whistle
Clean Slate
Clear As A Bell
Clear As Mud
Climb On The Bandwagon
Climb The Wall
Close Only Counts In Horseshoes
Close Shave
Close, But No Cigar
Clumsy As A Bull In A China Closet
Clumsy As A New-Born Colt
Coal Oil -- Kerosene
Cock and Bull Story
Cock Of The Walk
Cold Feet
Coldr'n A Well Digger's Ass in Idaho
Coldr'n a Witch's Tit
Come Hell Or High Water
Come Off It
Come To Find Out That . . . -- I Discovered That. . .
Come Uncranked -- What Your Car Motor Does When It Stops Running
Come Up Missing
Come Up Smelling Like Roses
Come What May
Company Is Like Fish...They Both Stink After Three Days
Conniption Fit -- More Agitated Than When You're Having A Hissie Fit -- Just Plain Livid
Cooked His Goose/His Goose Is Cooked
Cookin' on the front burner (succeeding)
Cookin' with oil (doing well)
Cool As A Cucumber
Cootie/Cooter Brown
Couldn't Carry A Tune In A Bushel Basket
Couldn't Cut Hot Butter With A Knife
Couldn't Find His Ass With Both Hands
Couldn't Hit The Broad Side Of A Barn
Count Your Blessings
Country As Cornflakes
Cow lick – hair sticking up (see Alfalfa)
Coyote Ugly – when you wake up with a woman that’s so ugly, you’d rather gnaw off your arm than wake her up
Crazier'n All Get Out
Crazy As A Betsy Bug
Cream Rises To The Top
Cries Like A Baby
Crooked As A Barrel Of Snakes
Crooked As A Snake
Curiosity Killed The Cat
Curious as a cat
Cut And Dried
Cut From The Same Bolt Of Cloth
Cut Me Some Slack
Cut Off Your Nose To Spite Your Face
Cut the cheese
Cut the crap
Cut The Mustard
Cut the Sh*t !
Cut The Shenanagins
Cut Through The Red Tape
Cut To The Chase
Dance With The One What Brung You
Dark as a Dungeon
Day Late And A Dollar Short
Dead As A Doornail
Dead Ringer
Dead To Right
Dead To The World -- Exhausted
Deader'n A Doorknob
Diamond In The Rough
Diddly Squat (nothing at all)
Didn't Know Which Way To Turn
Different Strokes For Different Folks
Dig Your Own Grave
Dilly-Dally -- Mess Around; Waste Time; Loiter
Dirt Cheap
Dirt Poor
Do An About Face
Do as I say, not as I do
Does a snake have hips?
Do go on
Do Number One -- Pee
Do Number Two -- Poop
Dog Days Of Summer
Dog Eat Dog
Doin’ the green apple two-step (diarrhea)
Done Peed' in Your Own Soup
Don't Beat A Dead Horse
Don't Beat Around The Bush
Don't Bite Off More Than You Can Chew
Don't Bite The Hand That Feeds You
Don't Burn Your Bridges Before You Cross Them
Don't Change Horses In The Middle Of The Stream
Don't Come No Bigger/Better/Prettier Than That
Don't Count Your Chickens Before They Hatch
Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk
Don't Get Your Drawers In A Knot
Don't Get Your Panties In A Wad
Don't Have A Leg To Stand On
Don't Have The Brains God Gave A Billygoat/Goose
Don't Know Whether To Sh*t Or Go Blind
Don't Know Your Ass From A Hole In The Ground
Don't Know Your Head From A Hole In The Ground
Don't Let your mouth write checks your ass can't cash!
Don’t say sh*t
Don’t let the tail wag the dog
Don't Like It, You Can Just Lump It
Don't Look A Gift Horse In The Mouth
Don't Make Me Have To Come Up There!
Don't Make Me Hav'ta Open Up A Can O' Whup-Ass On Ya
Don't Mess In Your Nest
Don't Muddy The Waters
Don't Open That Can Of Worms
Don't Piss down my back, and tell me it's rainin.'
Don't Put All Your Eggs In One Basket
Don't Put Any Stock In It
Don't Put The Cart Before The Horse
Don't Take Any Wooden Nickels
Don't Throw Out The Baby With The Bathwater
Don't Try To Pull The Wool Over My Eyes
Don't Upset The Cart
Double Ugly
Double-Dog Dare
Down To Earth -- Practical
Dressed In His Sunday Get Up -- Dressed in Sunday Clothes
Dressed To Kill
Dressed Up In His/Her Sunday-Go-To-Meeting Clothes
Drinks Like A Fish
Drunk As A Skunk
Dryer'n A Bone
Dumb as a Dung Beetle
Dumber'n a Bag of Hammers
Dumber'n a Hoe Handle
Dumber'n A Stump
Easier Said Than Done
Easy As Falling Off A Log
Easy As Pie
Easy Come, Easy Go
Eat Crow
Eat Me Alive
Eat Sh*t and die
Eat Sh*t and Run Rabbits
Eat Your Heart Out
Eat/Ate My Lunch
Eaten Out Of House And Home
Eats Like A Bird
Eats Like A Horse
Eats Like A Pig
Either Sink Or Swim
Elevator Doesn't Go All The Way To The Top
End Of My Rope
Enough Is Enough
Enough money to burn a wet mule. (A wealthy person)
Every Dog Has His Day
Excuse My French
Experience Is The Best Teacher
Eyes Like A Hawk
Face The Music
Fact Is Stranger Than Fiction
Fair And Square
Fair To Middlin'
Fair Weather Friend
Fallin' Apart Like A Cheap Suit
Fancier'n A Two-Dollar Whore
Far Be It From Me
Fart Blossom -- Term Of Endearment for a Child
Fart Wad -- Abnoxious Older Person
Faster Than Greased Lightnin'
Faster'n A New York Minute
Fat As A Hog
Fat as a tub of lard
Feel like the groundfloor tenant in a two-story outhouse
Feeling Their Oats
Fell Like A Ton Of Bricks
Feuding Like The Hatfields And McCoys
Few And Far Between
Fifth Wheel
Finer'n' frog hair'n better'n chicken lips -- Beautiful or Wonderful
Fine-Toothed Comb -- Usually What You Examine Something Closely With
Fit As A Fiddle
Fit Him to a T
Fit To Be Tied
Flash In The Pan
Flat As A Pancake
Flesh and Blood
Fly By Night
Fly By The Seat Of Your Pants
Fly In The Ointment
Fly Off The Handle
Fly On The Wall
Foam At The Mouth
Follow The Golden Rule
Footloose and Fancy Free
For Crying Out Loud
For Love Nor Money
For The Birds
For The Life Of Me
For The Umpteenth Time
For What It's Worth
Forever And A Day
Forgive And Forget
Fork It Over
Fought Like A Tiger
Free As A Bird
Fresh As A Daisy
Freshly-Hatched -- Young
Frog In Your Throat
From Bad To Worse
From Here To Kalamazoo
From Here To Timbuktu
From Out Of The Mouth Of Babes
From Stem To Stern
From The Horse's Mouth
From The Word Go
Full As A Tick
Full Of Beans
Full Of Bull
Full of Piss and Vinegar
Funnier'n All Get Out
Funny Farm
Gag A Maggot
Get Hitched – get married
Get Off Your High Horse
Get The Sh*t Out Of Here
Get While The Gettin's Good
Get Your Ears Lowered -- Haircut
Get your feathers ruffled
Get Your Goat -- Embarass
Get Your Head Out Of The Clouds
Get Your Head Out Of Your Ass
Get Your Sh*t Together
Getting The Short End Of The Stick
Give Him An Inch And He'll Take A Mile
Give Out -- Tired, Exhausted -- "I'm Plumb Give Out"
Give Someone The Cold Shoulder
Give The Devil His Dues
Gives Me Goosebumps -- Scary
Glutton or "Pig Out" (Big Eaters)
Go Fly A Kite
Go For Broke
Go Hog Wild
Go Hump A Stump
Go Off Half-Cocked
Go To Bed With The Chickens
Go Up Like A Puff Of Smoke
Go With The Flow
Goes In One Ear And Out The Other
Going Against The Grain
Going To Hell In A Handbasket
Going To The Dogs
Gone Missing
Gone South
Gone To Pot
Gone To The Dogs
Gonna Be A Cold Day In Hell
Gonna Come A Gully-Washer
Good As Gold
Good Fences Make Good Neighbors
Good For What Ails You
Good Lord Willing And The Creek Don't Rise
Good Old Days
Good Riddance To Bad Rubbish
Gooder'n Grits
Goody Two Shoes
Got A Frog In Your Throat
Got A Kick Out Of It -- Enjoyed
Got a lotta damn gall
Got An Axe To Grind
Got Another Think Coming -- "If You Think I'm Gonna Jump Off That Cliff, You Got Another Think Coming"
Got Ants In Your Pants
Got Me Over A Barrel -- Got Me In A No-Win Situation
Got Me Stumped
Got My Ass Chewed Out -- Reprimanded or Scolded
Got My Ass In Gear
Got My/Your Goat (Embarrased You/Me *OR* Made You/Me Mad)
Got Pulled Before He Was Ripe
Got Skeletons In His Closet
Got something stuck in your craw
Got Up On The Wrong Side Of The Bed
Got Your Ass In A Knot/Sling/Bind
Got Your Head Up Your Ass
Got/Get It Down Pat
Grass Is Always Greener On The Other Side Of The Fence
Great Day in the Morning !
Great Minds Think Alike
Greek To Me
Green With Envy
Grin And Bear It
Grind To A Halt
Grinnin' Like A Cat/Mule Eatin' Briers
Gripes My Ass -- Makes Me Mad
Growing Like A Weed
Guilty As Sin
Gut Reaction/Feeling
Had Me Seeing Red -- I Was Angry
Half A Loaf Is Better Than None
Hand Over Fist
Happier'n a Fly in Sh*t
Happier'n a Pig in Slop
Happier'n a Porcupine in a Balloon Factory
Happy Go Lucky -- Without A Care In The World
Hard As A Rock
Hard Row To Hoe
Harder Than Nails
Harder To Hold Than A Greased Pig
Has A Hollow Leg
Has A Stomach Made Out Of Cast Iron
Has Deep Pockets
Has His Own Axe To Grind
Has The Bull By The Horns
Has The World By The Tail
Have To Bear The Brunt
He fell out of an ugly tree, and hit every branch on the way down
He Has His Tail Over His Back
He Thinks It's Gospel Just Because He Said So
He took out of here like his ass was on fire
He/She Has A Face Only A Mother Could Love
He/she has a face that would harelip the Govenor
He/She has a Mean Streak
He/She has a Wild Streak
Her glasses are so thick, when she looks at a map, she can see people waving at her
He/She is going on a Wild Streak
He/She scraped the bottom of the barrel -- fell in love with a trashy person
He/She took out of there like a streak of Lightning
He/She Was So Confused, He/She Didn't Know Whether To Sh*t or Go Blind
He/She will talk your ears off
He’s so confused, he don’t know whether to scratch his watch or wind his ass
Head Is As Thick As An Anvil
Head Is Hard As A Rock
Healthy As A Horse
Heart As Big As All Outdoors
Heavens To Betsy
Heavy As A Tub Of Lard
Heck Fire
He'll Argue With A Fence Post
Hell Bent
Hell On Wheels
Hem Haw Around -- Waste Time; All Talk and No Action
Hen Pecked
He's Afraid Of His Own Shadow
He's As Dependable As A Fox In A Hen House
He's As Honest As The Day Is Long
He's As Stubborn As A Lop-Eared Mule
He's Dealing From The Bottom Of The Deck
He's In Over His Head
He's Lost His Marbles
He's/She's so bow-legged, he/she couldn't hem up a hog in a ditch.
Hick – Usually refers to someone without an education that lives in the country
High And Dry
High And Mighty
High On The Hog
Higher'n A Georgia Pine
Higher'n A Kite -- Drunk
High-Falootin' -- Fancy
Hind-Sight Is 20/20
His Wheel's Still Turnin,' But The Hampster's Dead -- Dumb
His/Her Apples Don't Fall Far From The Tree
His/Her Mind Is A Steel Trap
Hissie Fit -- Slightly Less Agitated Than If You Were Having A Conniption Fit
Hit Below The Belt
Hit By An Ugly Stick
Hit The Sack
Hitch up your pants – pull up
Hold Your Horses -- Wait A Minute
Honey let me be your salted dog
Hook, Line & Sinker
Hoot And Holler
Hootenanny -- Shingig, Wingding, Celebration
Hop, Skip, and a Jump – A Short Distance
Horned in -- Butt In
Horse Of A Different Color
Hotter'n a 2 Dollar Pistol
Hotter'n a Popcorn Fart
Hotter'n Hell
I Ain't Never
I Can Feel It In My Bones
I Can't Make Heads Nor Tails Of It
I Could Take A Cotton To You
I Didn't Fall Off The Turnip Truck Yesterday
I Didn't Like The Color Of His Money
I do declare
I Done Put Up With All I'm Going To -- Aggravated
I Don't Give A Tinker's Damn
I Don't Know Him From Adam
I Double-Dog Dare You -- Strong Dare
I Feel Like Death Warmed Over
I Feel Like Giving Up The Ghost
I Have Half A Mind To . . .
I Have Other Fish To Fry
I Haven't Slept A Wink
I Laughed 'Till I Cried
I Need That Like I Need A Hole In My Head
I Triple-Dog Dare You -- Strongest Dare
I Wasn't Born Yesterday
I Won It Fair And Square
I Would Rather Take A Beating
I Wouldn't Give You Two Bits For Your Opinion
I Wouldn't Take A Plug Nickel For You
I Wouldn't Touch That With A Ten Foot Pole
I Wouldn't Trust Him As Far As I Could Throw Him
I Wouldn't Want To Be In His Shoes
I’ll be on you like a swarm of bees
I’ll be on you like flies on sh*t
I’ll be on you like white on rice
I’ll kick your butt up around your ears
If A Wolf Came To My House To Eat, He'd Have To Bring A Sack Lunch
If I Had My Druthers
If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix It
If I've Seen One, I've Seen 'Em All
If I've Told You Once, I've Told You A Thousand Times
If Something Tastes Good, you can say: "Better n' Snuff, but not half as dusty"
If that don’t light your fire, your wood’s wet
If That Don't Beat All
If That Don't Beat The Band
If That Just Don't Beat All
If that'd been a snake, it would have bit you
If the Good Lord's Willin' And The Creek Don't Rise
If The Good Lord's Willing And The Creek Don't Rise
If The Shoe Fits, Wear It
If Worse Comes To Worst
If you can’t hunt with the big dogs, stay on the porch
If You Can't Stand The Heat, Get Out Of The Kitchen
If You Had A Brain, You'd Be Dangerous
If You Had A Brain, You'd Take It Out And Play With It
If You Play With Fire, You're Gonna Get Burned
If you throw enough sh*t against a wall, some of it is bound to stick
If You Were On Fire, I Wouldn't Piss On You To Put You Out
If you're telling someone the truth, you can tell them: "If I told you a rooster dips snuff, you can look under his wing for the snuff."
Ignorance Is Bliss
I'll Be There With Bells On
I'll Give You Something To Cry About -- Usually Said To Children When You're Mad At Them
Ill Gotten Gains
I'm A Bit Under The Westher
I'm All Ears
I'm At The End Of My Rope -- Tired
I'm Getting Nowhere Fast
I'm Going To Jerk A Knot In Your Tail
I'm Going To Paint The Town Red
I'm Gonna Clean Your Plow
I'm Gonna Nail His Ass
I'm Gonna Take You Out Back Of The Wood Shed
I'm In A World Of Hurt
I'm In Hot Water
I'm Not Just Blowing Smoke At You
I'm Pulling Your Chain
In a bathroom, they bathe; in a restroom, they rest, in a toilet, they toil, in a Sh*thouse, they sh*t
In A Bind
In A Coon's Age
In A Rut
In high cotton
In hot water
In My Mind's Eye
In One Ear And Out The Other
In One Fell Swoop
In Over My Head
In The Bag
In The Doghouse
In the Family Way -- (pregnant
In The Pink -- Everything's OK
In The Red -- Negative Check Book Balance
Indian Giver
It couldn’t cut the mustard
It cut me to the quick
It’ll Do You Good, And Help You Too
It’s Not the End of the World
It’s not worth the paper it’s written on
It'll All Come Out In The Wash
It'll Be A Cold Day In Hell
It'll make you want to slap your mama and throw your daddy out the back door.
It's A Far Cry
It's A Piece Of Cake
It's A Real Humdinger
It's Always Darkest Before The Dawn
It's As Cold As Blue Blazes
It's Better Safe Than Sorry
It's Like Opening A Can Of Worms
It's Not Over 'Till The Fat Lady Sings
It's Rainin' Cats and Dogs
It's Rainin' On My Parade
I've Put Up With All The Sh*t I Can Handle
I've Stood All I Can Stand, 'Till I Can't Stand No More
Jack of all trades; master of none
Joe Blow
Jump out of the fryin’ pan into the fire
Jumpin' The Gun
Jumpy as a cat on a hot tin roof
Junky
Jury rig
Just A Drop In The Bucket
Just a Hop, Skip, and a Jump -- Short Distance
Just a stone’s throw
Just barkin’ in the wind
Just bear with me
Just between you, me, and the bedpost
Just bidin’ my time
Just hunky dory
Just in the nick of time
Just rewards
Kalamazoo -- Usually Refers To A Distance -- "That's As Far As From Here To Kalamazoo" -- [Kalamazoo is actually a city in Michigan, located at 42 degrees 16 minutes 45 seconds North and 085 Degrees 35 minutes and 18 seconds West]
Keep a stiff upper lip
Keep out of my hair
Keep the ball rolling
Keep up with the Jonses
Keep your eyes pealed/peeled
Keep your fingers crossed
Keep your head above water
Keep your nose clean
Keep your nose to the grindstone
Keep your shirt on
Keeps me on pins and needles
Kept Me In Stitches
Kick a man when he’s down
Kick The Bucket
Kick Your Ass -- Usually The Only Part Of Someone That Gets Kicked
Kill the goose that laid the golden egg
Kill two birds with one stone
Knee high to a billy goat
Knee high to a grasshopper
Knee jerk reaction
Knee-High To A Jackrabbit/Gnat
Knock Down, Drag Out – A Fight
Knock Down, Drag Out Gorgeous – Looks Good Enough To Fight Over
Knock a Knot on Your Head
Knock off work
Knock on wood
Knock the Sh*t Out Of You
Knock Your Block Off
Knot on a Log
Knothead
Know the ropes
Know which side your bread is buttered on
Know which way the wind blows
Knuckle down
Knucklehead -- Hard-Headed
Laid up
Laughed So Hard, I Almost Busted A Gut
Laughed So Hard, I Almost Fell Over
Laughed So Hard, I Like To Have Died
Learn the ropes
Left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing
Left holding the bag
Left in a lurch
Left like last year’s newspapers -- abandoned
Lesser of two evils
Let bygones be bygones
Let Nature Take Its Course
Let sleeping dogs lie
Let the cat out of the bag
Let your hair down
Lickety/Lickedy Split – quick
Life of Riley
Light at the end of the tunnel
