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Vaiden,
The War of the Mighty Treehouseby
Ron Collins August,
Click On The BLUE Links To Go To A Bookmark Or To Open A File. ChaptersTHE BEGINNING
– PRELUDE TO WAR
– A CALL TO ARMS I HAVE NOT YET BEGUN TO
FIGHT – THE MEMORY REMAINS Other Information The ORIGINAL War of the
Mighty Treehouse Story Whatever Happened to Tree Houses? (Article) The Beginning
…Frank Lloyd Wright Revisited
It
was only six feet off the ground. In When
a suitable victim was found, it became hard to imagine felling such a stately
tree. Tell that to the Legion of
Super-Heroes, or whatever we were that day.
Yes…those super-heroes. We were
able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, but took an hour to chop down
a tree only twelve inches in diameter; another hour to trim off all the unneeded
branches; and a third to dig the hole at the “missing corner” to make sure
the structure would form a perfect rectangle.
But...we were recent graduates of the Jethro Bodine “ Luck
was on our side. Wood for its
construction seemed plentiful. There
appeared to be an abundant supply of sturdy oak planks left over from the old
home that had occupied the spot where our new house was. Actually, our house was now six years old,
but still looked new. My dad had kept
the property cleared before his death.
Seemed like the man could clear more in an hour with a Kaiser blade
than I could with a bulldozer. By the
time we got the fourth leg planted, I was sorta hoping for that dozer. Well, at least it was a start. We now had a rectangle – eight feet long, five feet wide. After deciding that the floor beams went on the outside of the trees, rather than on the inside, the beams went up, followed by the flooring. Now we had something to work with. Frequent trips downtown to the Vaiden Co-op assured us that we had enough nails to complete the task. These were not your ordinary nails, either. They were large enough to substitute for the spike driven in the railroad by Ulysses S. Grant at Promontory Point. Amazing what a quarter would buy back then. Equally amazing was the fact that when we were young, we could do more in a day than we can now in a week. To this day I haven’t figured out if it’s time-lapse or mind-lapse. Probably both. Mid-summer
in What
you have to understand is, to a twelve-year-old in The
old oak boards were the type that interlocked, forming an almost-smooth
surface. Good thing too. If this was to be a fortress, it had to be
bulletproof. Of course, far be it from
us to shoot at each other with BB Guns back then. We were told many times, just like the boy
on A Christmas Story, “you’ll put your
eye out, kid !” Well, we almost did
several times, but managed to survive somehow. Yes, we learned how our Daisy Red Ryder or our Daisy Pump BB Guns could be loaded by filling
our mouths with BBs, and “spitting” them into the loading chamber. “Miss Daisy” took her wrath out on each of
us more than once, but then, we didn’t believe in fighting with sticks. Of course, other than having a pack of
firecrackers go off in your hand, the sting of “Miss Daisy,” was not something
you’d soon forget. The
material chosen for the roof was a specially-formulated metal (Atomic number A
special aircraft cable was tied to a tree around the perimeter of the
entranceway, and buried underground – totally oblivious to any attacker. It then ran up the southeast leg of the
building and inside, threading through secretly-designed guides
(staples). The grounds were strewn
with broken glass and nails, strategically placed, so that any ground assault
would be neutralized. The cable could
then be pulled, tripping the enemy and
sending him hurling into the glass and nails.
To further protect the north wall, we had mounted the powerful Mighty Mo Cannon on the roof. This cannon could be fired remotely from inside the
treehouse, sending a I
can see it now. A Super-Fortress
packed with the latest arsenal, sure to strike fear in the heart of the
opponent; enough firepower to destroy a small country; enough technology to
avert a nuclear crisis until WE decided that one was necessary. Strategies of war could be plotted from a
centralized location, and an elite force of fighting men would emerge to
wreak havoc on the enemy. Before Intel
and Microsoft, there was the powerful Thinkatron computer, loaded with Windows The
interior had also been well-designed.
The ceiling was only four and a half feet high, with the thought that
a crouching target is harder to hit.
The fact that we didn’t have as much wood as we thought really didn’t
have anything to do with it. The
bathroom utilities were installed last. In the event of an “internal leak,”
we nailed a PVC pipe from the ground up the northwest corner support (the fake
tree), and strategically placed it in the corner. The pipe was topped off with a funnel. Should this “leak” happen to occur while we
were under attack, the nails in the pipe would prevent the enemy from
shooting into the pipe, thus insuring that we wouldn’t spend the rest of our
lives singing in a falsetto voice (or donning that robe and chanting on the
side of a mountain). The
retractable ladder could be hauled inside and the door could be locked from
within, to prevent entrance while in battle.
A minor engineering flaw developed, however, when we discovered that
it could also be locked from the outside while we were inside. Because of budget cuts that year, this
problem was never resolved. We
determined that we needed a signal of some kind, to insure that we could be
duly warned in the event of an impending attack. After careful consideration, we chose the whistle of
the Bobwhite, and each member practiced it
until we perfected the sound. Secret
passwords were issued; various and sundry items were disposed of, and we were
ready. That
day, the project we’d worked so hard and diligently on; our pride and joy;
THE MIGHTY TREEHOUSE, was complete. Prelude to War
Word spread quickly among the kids, that there was now a fortification in town that would protect the innocent, uplift the downtrodden, right all wrongs, and expel the evils from their midst. Recruits came from far and wide to join the ranks, but the membership was full. Strange how these kids were nowhere to be found when we were building the structure, but suddenly appeared out of the woodwork when it was finished. When I was little, I had read the book about the hen that baked the bread; no one had wanted to help her plant the wheat, harvest it, prepare it, and bake it, but when it came time to eat it, everyone showed up. Funny thing about these kids. They gave nothing to the project; they got nothing from it. What’s more amazing…it made them mad. Now
you might think that the elite fighting force concentrated only on the
treehouse. Wrong. A group of super-heroes is always
diversified. Not only did we have
meetings, hold elections, and right the wrongs of the world, but we spent a
lot of time at the public swimming pool in I
guess the latest movie that elicits those same childhood feelings would
probably be Stand By Me. Although we never participated in a “Barf-A-Rama” like “Lard-Ass” did in the
movie, even now the idea seems intriguing. Just imagine if we’d known about
that movie back then. Newspaper
headlines that often told of the casualties of the Vietnam War, or the Hippie
Culture, or the effects of LSD, would suddenly exclaim: “Vaiden Boys Throw Up
On The Mayor,” (or something to that effect).
It would bring our families closer together, for sure…especially on
visitation day at the local jail. Of
course, there were the customary trips to We kept an abundant supply of comic books, as well: Batman -- Superman -- Justice League of America -- Flash -- Green Lantern -- Doom Patrol -- World’s Finest -- The Brave and the Bold -- Detective Comics --
Action Comics -- Adventure Comics
-- Atom -- Showcase Presents the Metal
Men -- Superboy -- Captain Atom -- Captain Action -- Fantastic Four -- Spider Man -- Mighty Thor -- Incredible Hulk -- X-Men -- Magnus the Robot Fighter -- Teen Titans -- Legion of Super Heroes -- The Avengers -- Aquaman -- Challengers of the Unknown -- Metamorpho the Element Man -- Captain America -- Blackhawk -- Sgt. Fury -- Blue Beetle -- Popeye -- Journey into Mystery -- Daredevil -- Iron Man -- Tales to Astonish
-- Hot Stuff -- The Defenders -- Marvel Tales
-- Jimmy Olsen -- Doctor Strange -- Silver Surfer -- Strange Tales (with Nick Fury) -- Sea Devils -- Tales of Suspense -- The Phantom -- Richie Rich --
Sad Sack -- Archie -- Beetle Bailey -- Spectre -- Prince Namor the Sub-Mariner -- Supergirl -- Green Arrow -- Wonder Woman -- J’onn J’onzz, The Martian
Manhunter -- House of Mystery
-- Hawkman -- Lois Lane -- Inferior Five -- Man from U.N.C.L.E. -- Dr. Fate and Hourman
-- The Phantom Stranger -- Wendy -- Casper -- Sgt. Rock (Our Army at War) -- Little Lulu -- Little Lotta -- Little Dot -- Little Audrey
-- Baby Huey -- Doctor Solar: Man of the
Atom, just to name a few.
What can I say? We were diverse.
We collected comic books, and traded them accordingly. By the late A Call to Arms
Vaiden, Mississippi, in the The
Palmertree Barber Shop was located on Vaiden’s Sometimes
you get a “gut feeling” that something is about to happen, but just can’t
place a finger on it. That was one of
those days. The call to arms had been
issued, and I’d accepted. I really
didn’t think that anyone would want to take on the mighty treehouse, but I
could have been wrong. It was that
kind of feeling you get when your mom makes YOU cut the switch that she’s
about to use on you. I’d have to call
the boys. After
the members were mustered into service, I hopped on my trusty bike and sped
to town to Summer’s Grocery for several ten-cent packs of BBs. I made it back home in record time. Still nothing. We left the treehouse and headed toward
town on foot. When we reached the The
King of Zor, he called for war, And
the King of Zam, he answered. They
fashioned their weapons, one upon one, ton upon ton, And
they called for war at the rise of the sun. Out
went the call, to one and to all, That
echoed and rolled like the thunder. Trumpets
and drums, roar upon roar, more upon more, Rolling
the call of “come now to war.” Throughout
the night, they fashioned their might, With
Right on the side of the Mighty. They
puzzled their minds, plan upon plan, man upon man, And
at the dying of dawn, the great war began ! They
met on the battlefield, banner in hand, And
they looked out across the vacant land, And
they counted the missing, one upon one, none upon none, The
war was over before it begun. Two
little kings, playing a game, They
gave a war, and nobody came. And
nobody came. Yeah. At least that’s what we thought………………………… To
hear Zor & Zam in .mp I Have Not Yet Begun To FightThere was no doubt about it. Boy, my mom could cook. This day was no different. She was in the kitchen baking “tea cakes” for the Super-Heroes. She made them from scratch, rolling the flour with her handy rolling pin. We used to love to eat those tea cakes. I knew, also, to stay out of the way of that rolling pin. She probably wasn’t going to make very many tea cakes that day; only several dozen. That should last us about an hour. There
was still no sign of attack. As the
mind of a twelve-year-old is apt to do, we decided to move on to bigger and
better things. The wagon that Bruce
and I used to make our fortune selling bottles had finally died. It had served me well, hauling everything
from construction materials to dogs, to people, to those drink bottles, and
it died a slow death. But it served me
to the end and, befitting the mourning of an old friend, we decided to give
it a proper burial. After we laid the
wagon in its final resting place, and had finished covering it with dirt, we
began the eulogy. The woods were
quiet, and we were in a somber mood, with no sound piercing the trees except
the lonely whistle of a bobwhite. Strange. That was our signal, but we were all
there. The sound became louder and
quicker in tempo, when I looked at Bruce and said, “What do you think
that…………” All of a sudden, I heard the
cry of “ATTACK !” I looked up and saw
Chris hiding behind a barrel, making some sort of a motion with his
arms. “Get in the Treehouse,” I cried,
and everyone scrambled for safety.
Just before I went through the door, I picked up part of a brick, and
lobbed it Chris, thinking he was now against us. The brick hit Chris in the mouth, and broke
one of his teeth. I looked down the
path and saw what appeared to be a dozen kids running toward the treehouse
with dirt clods flying. Jumping
into the Treehouse, I locked the door behind me and realized that we were
trapped. Although we had ammo inside,
we had no way to launch it. As I was
about to pick up my BB Gun, I heard Robert
yelled that he would try to take the door, and ran around to the front of the
treehouse. Wayne’s timing was perfect,
as he pulled the cable, sending Robert sprawling into the broken glass and
nails. Ed and some of the others were
throwing anything they could from behind trees, but couldn’t penetrate the
walls of the structure. I heard
yelling, as some of the enemy, including Joe Lynn and Marvin, was finding out
about the nails, glass, and barbed wire that was in the thicket below. We had been right. Twelve-year-olds didn’t wear shoes in I
could tell that we were winning, when I heard a yell of “RETREAT !” I remember looking at the others as if to
say, “we won,” when I heard “What do you think you’re doing ? Get out of here or I’ll call the police !
“ The boys started for the woods. Marvin stepped on one of the sharpened
sticks, and it pierced his foot.
Still, they were running with all their might. And they were running away ! Just as we opened the door to attempt a
pursuit, we saw my mother standing there with flour on her dress, and that
deadly rolling pin in her hand. We had
won, albeit not entirely by our own hands. Six,
not five, brave and proud soldiers emerged from the woods that day – Chris,
Bruce, Philip, Wayne, Tom, and me. The
war was over and we were victorious.
Or was it us? Now that I look
back at it all, regardless of all the planning, all the ammo, all the
training, all the firepower, the deadliest weapon of all was my mother’s
rolling pin. [Ed. Note: This recipe
is one that came from my Aunt Louise Caddess’ recipe collection, and is
possibly the same that was used by my mother when making the tea-cakes during
the treehouse war. If I find the one
in my mom’s recipe collection (and if it is different), I will post it, as
well.] The Memory RemainsWe
didn’t receive a Congressional Medal of Honor, or a Purple Heart; no
citations for meritorious valor and conduct on the battlefield. Instead, we received a batch of tea-cakes
that would make your mouth water. So,
to the victor go the spoils. And………we
all lived to fight again. My
mother told me there’d be days like this.
I just didn’t think it was today.
The Mighty Treehouse remained to shelter us from future attacks, and
was a good friend to five Vaiden, Mississippi boys in the Two Little Kings,Playing a Game,They
Gave a War, And
Somebody Came ! UPDATE !! On
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